Okay, this is something for all my friends that see me as too selfish or self-centered or anything along those lines. Look, I'm sorry that I'm not the greatest friend, that I can't always give you what you want or need, that I ask too much from you and don't give you back the same things, but I'm not fucking sorry that I'm more focused on my own things. I know this isn't a recent thing, it never has been, I'm just that fucking reclusive, that anti-social that I'm not the greatest of friends. Not to mention I'm focusing on my relationship most of the time, and when I'm not in one, pretty much the same because I don't feel like talking to many people.
I know you all have your own stress, that you need someone to vent out to and help out, and sometimes I can do that, but other times I can't. I'm only fucking human, I've my own shit to deal with, and I'm usually trying to keep myself as calm and happy as I can be. And, honestly, I'm not sure if it's a chain effect, but people give me the same kinda thing, sometimes for the same reasons, sometimes because they don't know how to respond. Sometimes, I don't know how to respond either. Is it a bad thing to push friends away while in a relationship? Yes, but it fucking happens. I'm sorry that I do that, but I'm not sorry I'm trying to keep myself happy.
Honestly, sometimes it's hard for me to be happy talking to some of my friends because I'm fucking envious of them. My relationship's online, and that hurts like hell, but it hurts worse knowing some of my friends have relationships in person, in real life, and knowing some of the things they do or can do only makes me feel worse and fucking lonely! Is that petty and stupid? Yes, I'm the fucking jealous type! It sucks, but it's fucking true!
All in all, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry, and this is a problem that's not gonna change. If you feel like you can't handle it, then unfriend me, block me, do whatever the fuck you feel like you should. It's something that can't be helped, focusing more on your own relationship than anything else, and if you do unfriend or block me, that only proves that we were never true friends and never will be.