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About Literature / Hobbyist Jeff Ireland23/Male/United States Recent Activity
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Simply some pics that I like enough to favorite them.
Getting right to the point, have you ever been with someone where at some point, they started to push you away? They started to suggest you find someone else to make you happier? Because that's how this shit started... Yeah, my girl was questioning our relationship, rather constantly, and it wasn't until... A week to three weeks ago I think it was where she basically said she wanted to end it to make me happier, to have my look for someone else...

Well, at the time, I decide to make it into a waiting game... We're single (or at least not with each other) until New Years Day... If we both agree we should stay together at the end of the time, then we will. A single disagreement, and nope. Well, I've been tortured by seeing a few friends' happiness in their relationships... It's great that they're happy and all, but I'm the jealous, pained, depressed type when it comes to hearing about someone else's happiness, so why tell me? I mean really?

So, because of this whole situation, I'm trying to think of what kind of relationship, as well as woman (or man) I need... Here's a conversation (cut up into parts) to help explain what I mean...

---Part 1---

Fyre Ireland
Sometimes I wonder if what I need is a relationship and a mistress... Or... Whatever the hell would help make me a bit happier in the pit of misery I push away as much as possible...

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
Or maybe you need to find yourself first? I don't exactly know what I mean...but...

Fyre Ireland
Sorry, something a friend said brought me down. But, what you said makes sense.

---Part 2---

Fyre Ireland
I was really biting my tongue, trying not to say, "Did it /have/ to be me? Your bro with relationship issues and who gets depressed seeing and hearing about these things?"

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
Right? Sometimes I think people choose who to tell based on that factor. Like my friends always tell me first when they get pregnant...

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
Like, I think they choose the person who wants what they've got or whatever.

Fyre Ireland
Yeah, and it's like, "Why do you do this to us?"

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
Yep.

---Part 3---

Fyre Ireland
The thing I hate about the idea of a girlfriend and a mistress, or two girlfriends, or anything like that is... I'm that asshole that'd make it a double standard. Okay if I do it, but not okay if they do. My jealousy would make me too control out of that. Then there's my emotional and physical needs that honestly only a select few can help with.

Fyre Ireland
Am I too logical and calculating?

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
I think you have too many things that you're wanting. And I think you get bored if one person can't measure up, if that makes sense? Like, you set the standard, and for awhile you're totally accepting. But when they aren't quite measuring up, I think honestly you get bored and that's when the issues start...

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
Or if there are too many disagreements.

Fyre Ireland
That could be entirely true... Especially that last one.

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
Like the big fight last time about suicide...that I think was the official nail in the coffin so to speak.

Fyre Ireland
I see what you mean... The strong conflict of views that can't be swayed...

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
Yeah. Cuz, as your sis, I see that you have some...issues when people don't quite have the same opinions that they won't sway on, or even when it comes to certain aspects of ideas or characters.

Fyre Ireland
Also true... And, I kinda hate that about myself, honestly... Makes me feel too selfish.

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
It's not always a bad thing. Can it be annoying? Sure...but I'm annoying too and a lot of the time I'm the same damn way.

---Part 4---

Fyre Ireland
The reason I think I'm too calculating is because I tend to plan backups, evaluating pretty much every friend.

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
Oh?

Fyre Ireland
Yes. Enough time, I could see a friend as dating potential, strike when I have a chance.

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
That may be a tad calculating.

Fyre Ireland
And, out of all the friends I go to, you're the one I go to the most.

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
Like to talk to, or in your calculating mind?

Fyre Ireland
I meant in talking/venting out to. But, occasionally, my calculating mind does go to you, too.

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
Well, sisters are meant to be vented to.

Fyre Ireland
I have three unofficial ones (including yourself). You're the only one close to my views, and online time.

Cassandra Sandi Stewart
Well having no job allows me to be online.

Fyre Ireland
True.

---Back To Venting---

Had to make an actual end somewhere. But, that should clear up something of what I'm feeling, hopefully... But, here's another convo, one done in a more secretive way so my second friend won't get pissed at me. However, this one will all be in one go...

---2nd Convo---

Me: Sometimes I wonder if what I need is a relationship and a mistress... Or... Whatever the hell would help make me a bit happier in the pit of misery I push away as much as possible...

Me: The thing I hate about the idea of a girlfriend and a mistress, or two girlfriends, or anything like that is... I'm that asshole that'd make it a double standard. Okay if I do it, but not okay if they do. My jealousy would make me too control out of that. Then there's my emotional and physical needs that honestly only a select few can help with.

Me: And sometimes I wonder if I'm too logical and calculating, or if I'm honestly bored with the person I'm with, or if it's a conflict of views or simply a difference in views that kills relationships for me...

Me: And if you tell me to just stay single for a few months, technically, that's what I've been doing for the past few weeks. Two weeks, I think it's been already, but I'm not sure.

Friend: What about a fwb?

Me: Settles the physical needs, not so much the emotional. Tends to be able to easily turn into a relationship, if they're single. And, I rather not do that to someone who's taken. Not a moral I wanna break and it'd test my jealousy...

Friend: I honestly think you really do need to be by yourself for awhile. And i dont mean just for a few weeks

Me: Well, the break is a waiting game, so to speak, that I made. Ends on New Years Day. Though, as usual, I already have my answer early. Was done as a way to keep fighting, only I realized there's no reason to fight for her anymore.

Friend: Oh?

Me: A few points people made, as well as my own thoughts.
1. If she's not fighting for us, then why the fuck should I?
2. Your point about misery and happiness.
3. Conflict of some views simply too strong/different.
4. Fuck balance, fuck trying to find a light for my darkness. I need someone darker than I am...

Friend: Ah

Me: So, yeah, I'll be single for a while now.

---Back To Venting Again---

I really hope I made myself clear about all of this... To anyone reading, to anyone supporting me, thank you...

deviantID

Fyreman666
Jeff Ireland
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Note: Everyone on my friend's list on here are people I watch.

Welcome to my profile, which has some stories and pics and such I've made. For anyone who reads my stories, please note this: I give descriptions of one of the main character's looks with a simple action for an intro. Why? Because I fucking hate it when how the character looks is a fucking mystery! But, I only detail the important characters, I don't really bother with secondaries or extras. I don't have my stories edited until after they're finished. If I notice typos or mistakes are pointed out to me before it's done, I fix those, but my general grammar stays until the story's done. For anyone who knows me, you know I'm one for blunt, uncensored content. I don't think shit should be censored, and I fucking hate it when people try to tell me what the fuck to write. I mean seriously, if you don't like it, don't fucking read it. I'm not looking for popularity, I'm looking for people actually enjoying the stories. If you don't enjoy my blunt, uncut language and sexual content, then my stories aren't for you. Yeah, I don't read that many books, the most I read is text on my computer screen, which is usually YouTube comments, Facebook stuff, and roleplay text. My English isn't that good, but in truth, whose fucking is? Seriously. For anyone continuing to read after this, first off, WOW! Second off, yeah, I'm petty much a blunt person/writer. Writing's a hobby of mine, much like roleplaying. I find it fun, and like it when people enjoy my work. Sometimes I take comments and reviews into consideration, other times I don't give a fuck. It's nice when people like my work, I know I'm gonna get hate for some of the shit I write, but I don't fucking care. Okay, thank you for your time to read my entire profile.
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:iconjakegundan:
JakeGundan Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2015
Thank you for the fave. ^^
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:iconsupergoomba554:
Supergoomba554 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2015  Hobbyist Filmographer
hey i had an idea. since we aren't continuing the rp, maybe you can write it out (how you 100% wanted it) in a journal or something. kinda like a fan fiction, but not really.
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:iconfyreman666:
Fyreman666 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Sorry I didn't see this sooner. I could, but I won't. One, she may be a fan character, but she's strictly RP use only unless I change my mind, which may or may not happen. Two, writing a story or specific idea around her would take a while, and I'm not sure how many would find the idea. Even then, those that did find it might not necessarily like it, or the fact in the RP there'd be a 12-14 year old girl having sex because of my rules/needs and how stubborn I can be. And three, it's simply a pain in the ass to find RPers that can follow my rules with little problem.
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:iconsupergoomba554:
Supergoomba554 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2015  Hobbyist Filmographer
ah ok ^^ it was just an idea
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:iconthetartestbite:
TheTartestBite Featured By Owner May 20, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hi there! I happened to stumble across your page thanks to the random deviant button! I just wanted to take the time to tell you your art is lovely, and don't worry about your English. It'll get better with time, and if you're comfortable with your level don't let people convince you you don't deserve to be here. I especially like your latest deviation! Melinda is a very cute and eye-catching character! Keep up the good work! :heart:
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:iconsavvyred:
SavvyRed Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the ego stroke by SavvyRed
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:iconulterbuttermario:
UlterButterMario Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2014
Hello. I just read your profile description. I like your works and I'm fine if your English sucks. Mine does too.

Nice stories by the way.
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:iconwonderland04:
Wonderland04 Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
sorry 'bout deleting you from Skype, but the conversation just stopped and went nowhere...
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:iconmrmayhemm:
MrMayhemm Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks a lot for the :+fav:, a llama for you
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:iconwaifangel54:
Waifangel54 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the fav! I hope u enjoy :)
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:icondaddysgirl13:
daddysgirl13 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday!
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:iconfyreman666:
Fyreman666 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! Be on look out for my fifth journal entry!
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:icondaddysgirl13:
daddysgirl13 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, most definitely :D
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:iconkachinadoll:
Kachinadoll Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for the fave on my Steampunk Flight image! :)
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:iconyuukipink:
yuukipink Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
:dalove:  Thank you for favoriting my art!! :+fav: 
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:iconsonnitude:
Sonnitude Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
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:iconsonnitude:
Sonnitude Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
what do you think of this new art style? aghast
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:iconrellik1138:
rellik1138 Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for all the :iconfav3dplz:'S .
I appreciate them.
Here Have A :llama:.
:headbang::peace::headbang:
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:iconflipation:
flipation Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:!
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:iconengineerjr:
engineerJR Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013   Photographer
:iconthxfavplz:
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:icongraphicdream:
GraphicDream Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the fave on "Platinum and black" :)
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:iconbananawork:
BananaWork Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav::heart:!! ;P
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:iconbananawork:
BananaWork Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
All of them :D
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:iconfyreman666:
Fyreman666 Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Damn typos... :icondragonhugplz:
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